Why I Released A Song I Despise

EB- BITC- Final CoverB

I struggled for a while writing “100 Miles.” It wasn’t actually difficult to put the pen to paper, but what was difficult was living out the circumstances that made the song worth writing.

I will save you most of the details, but suffice it to say that life has been slightly chaotic over the past few years. Still is. It’s like a strong undercurrent, where the surface of the water appears normal. I have not quite regained the composure that I would like to have…. to prove my normality.

I am coming to a safe place where I understand that God is just over the mountain. He is on both sides of the mountain. He is with us here, where we are, and on the coming journey, but He is clearly on the other side of that mountain. He is drawing us there. Wooing us. He is waiting for us to make a move while providing us the strength to get there. Perfection in our imperfection.

I don’t hate the music or the way it turned out, but I have disliked the pain and strife that made the words in the song come to life. I have despised the moments that made me believe the words as truth.

But I guess the truth is I never would take back anything. I would never change the way my story has turned out. So perhaps I don’t despise it after all. Perhaps, I am just supremely frustrated by the realness and rawness of life.

I am extremely grateful to be able to write songs I despise, or rather ones that utterly frustrate and challenge me. I am so thankful to be able to share them with you! This is one of the ones that I am proudest of.

Thank you for sharing the album with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and in real life. I appreciate it. Thanks for sharing the link to iTunes. You can cut and paste it if you haven’t yet: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/before-its-too-cold-single/id590820590

with love,
Evan

100 Miles

If I gave up now, I’d probably never see. 
Things are difficult, but I can barely breathe 
Drive a hundred miles, until I see the mountains at my feet. 
If I gave up now, I know I’d never see.

On the other side you’re waiting 
And you’re not going anywhere 
And you pull, and you whisper 
And I can barely hear 
You’re not going anywhere

If I said I loved the way you want me to need you… 
If I said I wanted to wash your feet… 
If I gave up now it would only be a question mark… 
standing up on shoulders I can’t reach.

On the other side… You’re waiting for.

On the other side you’re waiting 
And you’re not going anywhere 
And you pull, and you whisper 
And I can barely hear 
You’re not going anywhere

3 thoughts on “Why I Released A Song I Despise

  1. I have realized over the last couple of years that when the heat is turned up on us it is to make us shine. Or to make God shine brighter so that we can still see him through our blindness. I knew I liked this song for a reason! Thanks for writing and singing from your heart! It truly shows…

    Sam Gleason

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